I COULD NOT LIE......BEING WITH THE DIVINE

I had the honor of driving MAA SHREE as and when I was available.

(.It is with immense pain that I would like to say that I do not enjoy that divine honors any more as some demon has come inside me to reside and that idiot of the demon refuses to leave..BUT  I am trying again, I will not lie, My trying is not hundred percent.)

Yes where was I? I had the honor of driving GURU where ever she had to go .It could have been to a shopping mall ,It could have been to a coffee shop or it could have been driving her to Ashram or back from Ashram.

On one such occasion I was driving MAA SHREE from ashram back to mumbai. One more disciple was with me in the car. I was at the wheel and that other disciple was sitting beside me.. MAA was sitting on the back seat. She was quite and we were softly listening to some hindi songs which Maa also liked.

The cabin of the car ,as usual was getting cold and I was feeling very cold ,my hands were freezing, just then Maa said "Amlan reduce the air conditioning the cabin is getting cold " I said ' "that's going to happen maa ,you are on board, " She smiled I saw that from the rear view mirror and a smile so enigmatic,so beautiful and so perplexing that smile was a unique one.. I still have that smile etched in my memory.

Now after driving for about two hours we stopped at a food joint.

we ordered some sandwiches and coffee. and we spoke of mundane things ,non consequential talks like the decor of the place ,ambience of the place etc etc.

Just then MAA got up to go the washroom ,and I taking that as an oppurtunity told the other disciple that I am going to have a cigarette and I went to a remote corner to enjoy a cigarette. 

Had my fill of smoke ( Actually I smoked two cigarettes.) and then came back to the table. MAA was already there sipping her coffee. For a moment I felt inhibited but then I came to the table and sat down and started sipping my coffee. MAA asked me where I had Gone.

This was the moment I was waiting for  I knew MAA will ask me and I will say that I went to the washroom or any other lie that would come at the spur of the moment.

AT THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT THE TRUTH CAME OUT AND I SAID THAT I WENT TO HAVE A CIGARETTE AND WITHOUT ANY INHIBITION. I was stupefied at the ease with which I told the truth.

Then we again were on the road and I kept on reminiscing that ONE CANNOT LIE IN FRONT OF THE DIVINE...SHE AGAIN SHOWED ME 

I was blessed and am still blessed as her arms are wide open for me.....

Oh lord get this stupid demon out of my system.

.

The thoughtless state...In association with the DIVINE

It was a chance meeting or was it destined ?,I am still questioning the event or the chain of events... My mind is not devoid of such questions and my mind wanders in all sorts of logicality...and then on that wonderful day I met her in person.. MAA SHREE says that  GURUs do not have gender but neither can I write "IT" 

I sat in front of her .I still remember the serene look on her face ,I still remember the sweet voice that spoke to me.. I still remember the immense love that she exuded ...and I still remember that tears rolled down my cheeks unabated, I still remember that she smiled at me , I still remember that she asked me whether I would like to say somethings, I still remember that melodious and love filled voice. I remember all. 

It was after probably two years after my first meeting with her that one day I was driving her back from ashram in khodala to mumbai. She was seating on the rear seat. All the way from the ashram we were discussing lot of things mainly about why GURU is required.. I had many questions and I was sheepishly asking her one question after another and she was so very lovingly answering them all. It was night and there was a slight drizzle ny the time I entered Mumbai. The air conditioning was working at the lowest speed but the inside of the car the cabin was freezing cold. Now I was driving towards lokhandwala where GURUJI would be staying the night. I had to take a right turn from the signal ahead and continue  on the straight road. I took the right turn and instaed on the road ahead I actually took a U turn and kept driving exactly on the opposite side and I was oblivious to the entire event. MAASHREE spoke to me and asked me whether I am confused about the road and I said No. MAASHREE then guided me to take another right turn to come back to that signal from which I took the U turn and she guided me towards the destination.

Point is I have driven to lokhandwala so many times that the route was etched in the back of my mind.but on that day I really do not know what had happened ..I was completely thoughtless sitting on the wheels and I was not aware of the surrounding ,my situation awareness was completely blanketed the presence of the divine herself.I did not know where I was driving or what was my direction or where was i going. May be it was her design to show me what thoughtless state is because earlier I had questioned her about this very thing and though she had answered she knew that I was not satisfied with the answer. So probably she showed me the practical. I can never forget that day and I get goose bumps even today when I imagine what thoughtless state can be.

In spite of my divine association with HER why am I so arrogant??? Oh lord please help me kill my demons.